Day 13 Expectations..

expectation leads to devastation.
devastation of mind in 2 ways
1. you going to be more frustrated more angry more agonized more intolerant more aggressive and in a way farther from your center your core your heart your true-self your peace your love.
2. 1st is certain this point is my eshtyle of handling expectation, by getting lost in the 1st point after the atomic blast.

i know i am not clear in any way. my grammar and my so called eshtyle is annoying. but i know the moment you read the header you had certain expectations. and i am not going to full those. nobody can. that’s a fucking fact.
Mother wants child to love him she expects love and just because she is a mother. may be she is hurting him unknowingly protecting him more than required and when child is suppressed he became insane. he talks shit. he hurts her her expectations kills her.

I am hard in some ways. but i am faithful. Faith i have not in others. faith i have not in god faith i have not in parents faith i have not in friends. faith i have not in consorts faith i have not in govt. faith i have not in gurus faith i have not in thousand and one more things.
Faith i have in Myself. i know i can slap and i can kiss both in lovely manner. slap is not in anger or to be precise not in revenge or because of unfulfilled expectation. Slap can be in anger like a father slaps when we burn hands with cracker. pure anger is that or is it pure love I know not.

i really don’t know how to tell and reach millions or billions of you but i am hurt deeply wounded because i am unable to share my love. i know not what energy is it is it sexual or is it creative is it intoxicating or it it not.
when love is unable to express it hurts it has a deep pain into itself. not because we expect something but because i am not able to give.
ask the sun how will it feel when he is condemned to give sunlight.
ask the moon when it is alone waiting for his beloved’s eyes to meet
ask the clouds who gets dried and repent for his promise to his friendly farmer.
ask the songbird who is unheard the squirrel unseen the pigeon’s unnoticed neck.

when i am giving all the moments i am not expecting. i give and give and give and go on until my all is given to all.
i don’t expect i love.
i love for the moments we shared. i love when we ll meet and you smile at me.
and joy and happiness forever

see i got lost again and did not explained 2nd point. haha 2nd point is an art. can’t be told told. dance can not be told. it comes from inside. but in few days i ll find out the most simple way of becoming one with the feeling and the thoughts.

in the end i want to share my all with the divine present in your eyes. i love you all.

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